THE JOB

There’s this block and the one over there. Two blocks, both made of wood. Now, what you’re going to do is walk around them—not back and forth between them, mind you, but around them, like in an ellipse. Do you know what an ellipse is? Did you take astronomy? Does Kepler ring a bell? Anyway, the pattern itself isn’t that important, just so long as you go around them, not back and forth between them. You can do a figure eight if you want to, or go much wider than what’s necessary—make a circle, say—but don’t interfere with the others who are going around their blocks, that’s also a no-no. And don’t touch the blocks either. That’s very important, I should have led with that. Do. Not. Touch. The. Blocks. Got it? As to your pace, that’s entirely up to you—we like to allow for a bit of freedom, seems to keep up morale—though if you go too slow it may not appear you’re actually performing your job, whereas if you go too fast you might wear yourself out. It’s best to find a pace you can keep to throughout the course of the day, day after day, year after year. To be clear, there is no bonus for how many “laps” you do—that’s what we call them around here, laps, our little jargon—though there is something to be said for making it evident you’re doing your laps, because not doing them at all, well, that’s obviously grounds for termination. Do you understand what I’m telling you? Does it make sense what you’re going to be doing?